New Beginning.

before

after

yes, after what seemed like 5 hrs, i finally undid d things on my ankle. even my buddy band. cos i'm gonna be wearing a skirt to work tmr, n i can't be having those things on. i'm a fucking role model to d students n i shd set a good example. like how on earth is wearing those things immoral or "ungood", i hv no idea. they're certainly not bad, they looked kinda nice. so now i gotta walk ard with a band-tan on my ankle. the after pic looks a lil gross, doesn't it? ahahha.. like a medical file pic. lighting and accessories are important, cam-whores!

ok so anyway last week was d 2-day course which went REALLY well. my class was awesome n we still keep in touch. thr's talk on meeting up for coffee soon to bitch abt d job. hahaha... tight shit, yo. love most of them. d trainer rocked too. d old barnacle got us prepared for our first day on d job, which was terrifying every single one of us on d 2nd day! ahhaha..

so my first 3 days at work kinda rocked. ok actually d 1st day was quite nerve-racking. read: meeting new ppl. so yeah, i did that. hypocritically or nervously, i can't tell. but it all felt surreal to me. felt awkward during the flag-raising, standing amongst d teachers instead of d students. n i still cldn't bring myself to sing d anthem or say d pledge. a problem? i choose to think not.

aft that, my cousin came up to say hi to me. ok exact words were, "eh F*** sia!!! no one told me!!" n i grinned my stupidest grin. i got him this time. so i got a desk, with a pc (yay!) n it's cool cos i got a desk in d staff room on d 3rd floor, which is a much smaller as compared to the main one on level 2. so it's cosier n not so intimidating cos there's abt 10-odd of us thr.. with a cute little pantry. quickly made some friends, which is not hard cos everyone thr is awesome. so on the 1st n 2nd day, all i did was observed 2 classes n converted oxygen to carbon dioxide the rest of the time. on d 3rd day, i got things to mark. cool. quite an annoyance to mark 20-odd identical formal letter assignments (copying is not fun for d teacher, kiddies.), but i liked sitting at my desk n having things to do. felt strange to be idling when everyone else is so bz.

well so d VP said they wanted me to ease into d profession, n not to throw me into the deep end. n they're doing a good job of it. d first 2 days got me a little freaked out, observing the really impossible classes. but on d 3rd day, i got to interact with d kids on a non-academic basis. we were working together on the rehearsal for a school event, so i managed to build some sort of social capital with my colleagues n students. i believe that experience helped me get comfortable with speaking to them as a teacher. all i've managed before was to mumble a "good morning class". haha! i suck. but i'll get better! i hope to.

till now, i hvn gotten a timetable, but i hope i get it in advance so that i can do the necessary prep. i don't even kno wat text the lit students are studying! haha. i sure hope i don't panic when it comes to planning lessons weekly. i hv to learn to ask the other teachers for help. i kno they're all nice but i just dun wanna feel as tho i'm bugging them.. they're all rather bz, wat with the exams fast approaching. oh well. gotta swallow that pride if i wanna excel.

u gotta take 1 step back to go 2 steps forward.

on a depressing note, i miss him.

it really is not d same without him.

i keep imagining the things he wld say abt wat i'm going thru rite now.

i've always thought he'd be here to share my new beginning.

circumstances can be cruel.

if only u kno wat they're saying abt u.